Helen Joubert – Zest4life Business Mentor
How many of us unfavourably compare ourselves to others?
Also known as “Comparisonitis”!
I love a good quote, and one that I like in particular is “Stop measuring yourself with someone else’s ruler”. What this means is that the only measures of our progress and success that matter should be our own. More of this later...
I want to share my thoughts and tips about this subject, specifically how it makes us feel, the effect it can have on our business, and share some tips on how to combat it; I will show you how it’s possible to cure yourself of the dreaded Comparisionitis and banish it for good!
OK. So firstly, just what is Comparisonitis? Like all good conditions, if you google it, the top definition that comes up is: 'Comparisonitis is the compulsion to compare one's accomplishments to another's, to determine relative importance, etc.'
In a nutshell, it means that you are frequently comparing yourself unfavourably to others.
Sometimes a bit of competitiveness is good and is healthy! It drives us, and helps us to ensure we deliver the best work we can. My own personal view is that there can never be too much competition. The more of us out there, the higher the profile of our industry, and it helps to raise awareness of what we do. So collectively, we are stronger and more visible. And comparing ourselves to others is generally pretty normal; we want to feel reassured that we are on the right path, fitting in, and as good as our peers.
BUT….!
When we feel out of step with our peers, this can often make us break out in a cold sweat.
Does this resonate with you? It’s something that comes up time and time again in my Zest4life business coaching sessions, so I can assure you that if this does sound like something you are experiencing, then you aren’t alone. In fact, I would go so far as to say that most of us have experienced it at some stage in our personal or business lives at some time or another.
So if you were to do a symptom checker in Dr Google of Comparisonitis, what would you find? The symptoms of comparisonitis include, but certainly aren’t limited to, feelings of inadequacy, lacking self-confidence, loss of motivation, doubting your abilities, leading to procrastination and even overwhelm.
It’s really not fantastic to experience any of these feelings, but more than that, they can have a profound impact on many aspects of your life, not least on your business. It’s like Keeping up with the Jones, but on steroids. It can be draining and exhausting. So let’s have a look at how Comparisonitis can impact your business.
First of all, let’s look at self-doubt. Self-doubt can make you show up less, make you less likely to get out there, and can result in procrastination and paralysis. But worse than any of those things, it can make you feel like you actually can’t do it. That you are incapable, inept and useless. It can rock your self-belief to its very core. So let’s clear that one up from the get go. It’s simply not true. You are always more than good enough.
So why do we do this? Why do we compare ourselves so unfavourably to others? Is it fear of rejection? Not being good enough? If you are experiencing any of this, what feelings do you think are being triggered for you?
The second thing to consider, is that it is more than likely that you are comparing yourself with someone who could be at a very different stage in their business - more established, with different goals and strategy. So you aren’t comparing apples with apples.
It’s a habit we can easily fall into, and it’s not always easy to stop these unfavourable comparisons. But the good news is that, like all habits, it can be broken. With a little bit of focus and practice, you CAN break this habit or substantially lessen its impact. Which brings me nicely to my top tips to combat comparisonitis and find a sense of calm, self-confidence and self-belief.
Tip number 1
Figure out and acknowledge your strengths - what you have achieved, what you know, what you love, and what you are good at. This will immediately make you focus on the positives instead of the negatives.
Tip number 2
Knowledge is power! Knowledge builds confidence, so identify the gaps and any areas that trigger self-doubt and fill them. Filling these gaps and taking action will make you feel better. Doing this, and practicing, will help turn you into a self-confident heavyweight! So if you think you would benefit, find some mentoring (if you think that’s what you need). But don’t get caught up in the never-ending cycle of CPD (unless that works for you).
Tip number 3
Avoid others. Not in a horrible way. Just don’t look too much at others unless you can be inspired by them instead of feeling demotivated.
Tip number 4
How you talk to yourself matters! It really does. Avoid negative self-talk. Focus on what you are doing well, and what has had a positive impact on you and your business.
My fifth and final tip, and if you don’t do anything else, do this….
Remember who you are! Why you do what you do, and why you LOVE what you do. You aren’t in it to impress and prove something to your peers. You are doing what you do to help your clients. So focus on them, and just be YOU! As the saying goes, nobody does you better than you. Be authentic.
So in summary, focus on YOUR goals, YOUR business, YOUR clients and what YOU enjoy doing.
Stick to your own lane and run your own race.
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